Washington Lawyer - March/April 2025 - 36

NEWLY MINTED
Let's Make Time for
More Time With People
By Ava Morgenstern
T
he year was 2019 and my
calendar was packed. In tiny
bars, I crowded into countless
networking happy hours. In
conference rooms across downtown,
I ducked in for committee
meetings and project trainings,
making small talk with colleagues.
My purse filled with business cards. My email
brimmed with invitations. I joked that I had a
" clichéd D.C. life. "
Six years later, that life has vanished. Most trainings
and meetings have moved to Zoom. Happy
hours occur far less often. At a mentoring
event I attended recently, one that used to be
crowded pre-pandemic, almost no mentees
showed up. At a panel I sat on to advise law
students, just one student attended. I now
work from home, and getting out takes effort.
Though I have chosen this lifestyle and like it, I
see far fewer people than I used to, which can
be isolating.
Remote work is good for productivity and
work-life balance, but it can strain mental
health. You may have heard of the " loneliness
epidemic " afflicting our society. While the discussion
often centers on personal lives, loneliness
also affects our professional lives. Because
of the competitive and stressful nature of our
profession, demanding long hours spent alone,
many of us suffer from loneliness. The pandemic
and its aftermath have worsened this. (For a
mental health practitioner's perspective, see
Denise Perme's column, " The Loneliest Profession, "
in the May/June 2022 issue of Washington
Lawyer.
Here I'd like to offer a few tips from my own experience
with professional loneliness. Since so
many lawyers feel the same, I want to empha36
WASHINGTON LAWYER
* MARCH/APRIL 2025
size that it's normal to feel this way. As writer
Jonny Sun shared in a TED talk, you are not
alone in your loneliness. And you can change it.
Show up. Sometimes I don't feel like going
out after work. But I convince myself to go, and
it's worth it. In-person happy hours and conferences,
while less common post-pandemic, are
still valuable. Even if socializing feels more awkward
than back in 2019, I remember that others
feel awkward too, and I feel better after flexing
those social muscles. Consider showing up for
the next networking event you're invited to.
Even if you feel tired and hesitate to go, you
may regain energy in good company.
We lawyers tend to think
we're self-sufficient and
shouldn't ask for help.
But by reaching out, we
can fight isolation.
Ask others what they need from you. Even
as a newer attorney, I have a lot to offer. I've
served as a mentor and volunteered on committees.
I've reached out to my LinkedIn and
social networks offering help for those needing
legal services in immigration, my practice area.
Not only am I building my reputation and serving
the profession, I'm also connecting with
many people. I encourage you to reach out to
bar associations and pro bono programs to see
how you might help and meet people at the
same time.
Ask for what you need from others. We
lawyers tend to think we're self-sufficient and
shouldn't ask for help. But by reaching out, we
can fight isolation. I've often had to swallow
hard and click send on that email or LinkedIn
message asking for help with a job search,
thoughts on a legal question, or feedback on a
piece. Most often, I'm glad I asked, and people
are glad to help. As a bonus, I've made wonderful
connections with colleagues I never would
have met had I not asked a question on a listserv.
If you need something, try reaching out
for help - you might be surprised by how well
it goes.
Build social systems like you build work
systems. At work I diligently track my clients
and cases. I use case management software
and intricate spreadsheets to remember who's
who and who needs what. For my social network,
I do the same. I keep a spreadsheet of
professional contacts, use LinkedIn daily to see
what colleagues are up to, and check in with
people regularly to see how they're doing. By
optimizing my social systems, I can ultimately
spend less time on administration and more
time with people. Consider making a list of
your key professional contacts, even just a few,
and scheduling reminders to regularly check in
with them. People will appreciate your efforts.
Spend time with nonlawyers. After writing
all these tips about networking with lawyers, I'll
admit I spend a lot of my free time with nonlawyers.
Getting out of my professional bubble
helps me learn how diverse people are tackling
loneliness. Meeting them, I feel less stuck in
my own problems and more integrated into a
greater whole. In the struggle against loneliness,
this is the perspective I need.
I wish you the best in your own quest to feel
more connected. And in that spirit, I invite you
to reach out to me on LinkedIn if you want to
talk!
Ava Morgenstern is an associate attorney
practicing immigration law at Meltzer Hellrung
LLC.
Washington Lawyer - March/April 2025

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