LAST WORD
Gifts for Lawyers
By Tracy & Paul Schorn
A POWDERED WIG. Why should British
barristers have all the fun? Perfect for that
special lawyer who enjoys 18th-century
cosplay and Rumpole of the Bailey reruns.
MAGIC OPINION BALL. Waiting
for your case on appeal? Shake and
discover its outcome! Outlook not
so good. Signs point to yes! Seventh
justice hazy now. These are just some
of the mysterious answers you can
enjoy while you wait months,
perhaps years. Good luck.
PET ROCK. A pet rock doesn't get
angry when the jury comes back against
you, or become overly excited when
depositions go well. Solid and steady,
your pet rock never overthinks a case
and is always there for you. The ideal
mentor!
SOCKS. Liven up
a lawyer's drab, gray
wardrobe and give them
socks. Lawyers can never
have enough socks. Socks
say, I don't care to know
you very well, but I suspect
your feet need covering.
A HUNK OF LUCITE engraved with
the scales of justice. Because lawyers never
get enough of those.
CROCHETED APPELLATE COVERS
ROCK 'EM SOCK 'EM SUPREME
COURT JUSTICES. If you've ever
- so your cases don't get cold.
PASTA OF THE MONTH CLUB.
For that difficult-to-buy-for associate
in your life. Nothing says I'm $200,000 in
student loan debt like a monthly
supply of cheap carbohydrates.
imagined judicial fisticuffs with proxy
robots (and who hasn't?) here's the
perfect gift. Whether it's Thurgood
Marshall throwing a strong left hook
at Roger B. Taney, or William Rehnquist
landing a haymaker on Rufus Wheeler
Peckham ("He's down for the count!"), you
can spend many happy hours duking it
out. May the best jurisprudence win!
Illustrations by Cynthia Cliff